I Don't Remember

I seriously can't remember what my life was like before Kennedy was born.  All I know, it must have been pretty darn boring.  Yes, I love my husband.  Yes, we have done a ton of great things, taken amazing trips, and had a lot of fun.  But nothing compares to our life with Kennedy.  In years past we spent Memorial Day weekend traveling...usually hitting a beach and having lots of drinks with fruit and umbrellas (oh, and alcohol) in them.  Tonight we kicked off the long weekend at home with Kennedy, a couple of steaks on the grill, and a glass of red wine.  We rolled around on the floor with her while she kicked at her play mat and gave us giant smiles and endless giggles.  It was better than any beach bar.  However, Kennedy is apparently a real party girl, since she's kicking off the weekend by staying up late tonight.

As I was laying on the floor I couldn't help but think how I've never been happier.  Yes, we're facing open heart surgery next month.  And yes, I'm still completely terrified.  But - we've got an amazingly strong little girl and she's going to do awesome.  It was exactly 14 weeks ago that we were heading to the birth center.  It's been the most amazing 14 weeks of my life.  It hasn't been with out challenges, but each has made us stronger.  The time has flown by.  It feels like just yesterday that she was born.  It makes me sad that she's growing up so fast, but I love everything that she's doing.  It hit me this week that she's not a newborn anymore and she's really turning into a little person.  I just love her little personality.  And I could listen to her "talk" all day (which is good, since she does!)  I guess she takes after her mama. 

Today after her nap (a very short one at that) I went in and picked her up and she gave me the BIGGEST smile.  It brought tears to my eyes when I saw how happy she was to see me.  The baby kisses are endless, as are the snuggles.  Last night, she fell asleep holding onto my hand.  This morning, I woke up when she hit me in the head with her rattle.  (Note to self - don't bring toys to bed.)  Even though it was a rude awakening, I loved seeing that she found her rattle and picked it up.  She's so close to rolling from her back to her belly and I am SO proud of her.  Today she stayed on tummy for almost 45 minutes and was doing great at pushing herself up.  I know these things are REALLY hard for her, but just like her mommy and daddy - she doesn't give up.  She's going to show the world that she can do so much and make a difference in so many lives.

There aren't enough words to express how much I love her and how much she's made my world brighter.  Things that were once really important, suddenly don't matter at all.  Our lives have changed a lot since Kennedy's birth, and we're loving every minute of it.   

Kennedy learned that it's fun to hit her toys with the rattle.