Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Black Cloud Approaches

Kennedy's Cardiology appointment went really well this morning.  She weighed in at 10lbs 9oz, which they were very happy with.  She said she's doing wonderful.  We go back in two weeks, for the final echo before surgery.  We'll meet with the surgeon the week after that, and we're on target for surgery at the end of the month.  The doctor performing the surgery will be Dr. Quintessenza, whom I've heard amazing things about.  He's the head of the department at the children's hospital, so I know we are in good hands.   If all goes well, it's my goal that we will be home and on the road to recovery by my birthday.  What an awesome gift that would be. 

Once again, I had a meltdown at the appointment.  I'm absolutely terrified, and nothing can change that.  I don't care how amazing the surgeon is, and I don't care how many times they do this.  It's open heart surgery, and it's my baby - nothing can make me feel better about it.  In fact, I used to think that meeting with the surgeon might make me feel better, but I'm pretty sure that it's just going to give me even more things to be terrified of.  The day we have to take our daughter for open heart surgery will absolutely be the worst day of my life.


  1. Wish I could click my heels & wave my magic wand - and this would all be a faint memory... I'm so sorry I can't do anything but worry & send all my love to all of you... and that's just what I'll be doing. Praying & praying!! I know your princess will be in the best possible hands, and still I just wish it were August or September and this was all behind you! :-)

  2. Not going to lie to you. You are right, it will be the worst day of your life. But when its over and you take her home....that will possibly be the best day (seconded possibly to the day she was born) I know how it is right now both wishing for time to go quickly so its all over with and praying for it to slow down because you are so terrified for you sweet girl. And there really is nothing you can do except try to enjoy all the moments as they come and cry to us when you get overwhelmed by it all. (((hugs)))