3 Weeks....

Three weeks from now, my husband and I will be sitting at the hospital, snuggling Kennedy and preparing for the longest and hardest day of our lives.

Today we met with Dr. Quintessenza, the Cardiothoracic surgeon who will perform Kennedy's surgery.  He seems really wonderful and skilled in what he does.  He answered my rather long list of questions with out hesitation.  He said that Kennedy's AV Canal Defect is the easiest of them to fix, and that she's at a perfect point to have the operation done.  On a scale of 1-10 he said the complexity of the procedure is about a 4-5.  He repairs the same defect Kennedy has about 4-5 times a month, and does around 400 surgeries a year.  I'd say he's pretty qualified.  They explained the surgery, anesthesia and gave us detailed information as to what we can expect.  I think I feel better about the recovery than I did before.  They said that she should be off the Lasix about 2-3 weeks after her surgery.  Since Kennedy and I have the same blood type, i'm going to donate blood this week or next.  I know that she may end up needing more than I can donate, but it would make me feel better to know she's getting as much of mine as possible, before resorting to the blood bank.  I'm still just as terrified about the surgery, even though they assure me that the risks are minimal, though they can be serious.   The hardest part (I think) is going to be the surgery itself.  Yes, the 7-10 days in the hospital is going to suck.  But, at least the surgery will be over with.  Kennedy needs this.  She's a strong girl, and this will make her life so much better.  I'm going to do my best to be strong for her.  

Who am I kidding?  I'm going to fall apart. 

And because I know you all really just come here for the pictures. 

This thumb tastes REALLY good mom!

And for added enjoyment here is a new video of her and her "friends."  Honest, we buy her new toys, but these are her favorites.

The Black Cloud Approaches

Kennedy's Cardiology appointment went really well this morning.  She weighed in at 10lbs 9oz, which they were very happy with.  She said she's doing wonderful.  We go back in two weeks, for the final echo before surgery.  We'll meet with the surgeon the week after that, and we're on target for surgery at the end of the month.  The doctor performing the surgery will be Dr. Quintessenza, whom I've heard amazing things about.  He's the head of the department at the children's hospital, so I know we are in good hands.   If all goes well, it's my goal that we will be home and on the road to recovery by my birthday.  What an awesome gift that would be. 

Once again, I had a meltdown at the appointment.  I'm absolutely terrified, and nothing can change that.  I don't care how amazing the surgeon is, and I don't care how many times they do this.  It's open heart surgery, and it's my baby - nothing can make me feel better about it.  In fact, I used to think that meeting with the surgeon might make me feel better, but I'm pretty sure that it's just going to give me even more things to be terrified of.  The day we have to take our daughter for open heart surgery will absolutely be the worst day of my life.