Tuesday, June 28, 2011

One Week

I cannot believe that our surgery date is so close.  I got the pre-admissions call today and I felt sick after I hung up the phone.  The good news is, we don't have to be there until 4pm on Monday, and they are admitting us directly to the CVICU, so we will not have to change rooms at all. 

I have no idea where the past four months have gone.  Like I've said before, I'm so glad that Kennedy is unaware of what's ahead and that she's laughing, smiling and having fun every day.  She's not feeling the worry and anxiety that we are.  I just wish I could take it all away from her.  She doesn't deserve to have to go through this.  No child should.  I keep looking at pictures of babies post-op.  Nothing can prepare me for the moment that I see MY baby like that.  But I cry just seeing pictures of what other babies have been through.  No matter how hard it is, I have to be strong for her.  I know I'm going to cry, but I have to be able to keep it together for her.  She's strong.  She's a fighter.  She's proven  a lot of people wrong and she's doing a lot better than everyone imagined she would be at this point.  Everyone says that I won't know how sick she was until her heart is repaired.  I'm just trying to focus on the excitement of seeing all the craziness she will bring once she's recovered, and all of the wonderful things we have planned. 

Tomorrow I have to go donate blood for the surgery.  But other than that, my week is reserved for Kennedy.  We will play and snuggle every moment possible.  I'm going to hold her as much as she'll let me to make up for the first days that I won't be able to.  If the weather gets better, I want to take her swimming.  I want to do all of her favorite things.  We're going to take her on her first trip to the aquarium on Saturday.  And of course...I'm going to take pictures.

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