Tuesday, January 22, 2013

I'm Jealous

There, I said it.  I'm jealous of all the moms who don't have to worry about therapy and developmental delays.  Oh and blood draws, ophthalmology visits,  insurance approvals, cardiology visits, Synagis shots, and hearing screenings, just to name a few.  I'll admit it, sometimes I see Facebook status updates and think, "I wish that was my biggest problem."  I don't do it to minimize my friends' problems.  And I definitely know that there are people that have it much harder than I do.  But sometimes I just want to be lazy, and sit back and watch her play, or tear up the house, with out questioning if I'm doing enough for her, or if I'm doing the right things to help her succeed.  Every parent wants to do their best to help their kids succeed.  But since Kennedy has to work extra hard at everything, I feel a lot of extra pressure about it.  Now that we have two kids, I definitely don't work with her as much as I used to.  And I always worry that it's impacting her progress negatively.

We had a long break in therapy.  The move, the holidays, getting things going in a new state.  We started Developmental Therapy last week, and both Kennedy and I loved the therapist.  Kennedy really showed off to her.  This week we started speech.  It didn't go so well.  I think partially because of the three teeth she's got coming in, she was tired, and truth be told, she just wasn't interested in her toys.  This week has also included countless phone calls to the insurance companies, and a Synagis shot.  Sometimes it would be nice to sit back and relax, with out worrying about if the doctor's office sent the paperwork to have next month's Synagis shot, or what the speech therapist is going to think about her progress, when she doesn't cooperate during a session.

With that said, I do still know how amazing Kennedy is doing, and I can't believe how far we've come in two years.  I don't usually focus on Down syndrome or the delays, and I typically follow the belief that she will do things when she's ready, as she's proven to us already.  But every now and then, I have a day where I get frustrated by how hard we have to work for her to be able to do the same thing other kids do so easily.  It definitely makes it more rewarding once she does it!

I promise, more photos soon.  We have been busy with birthday party plans, appointments, broken sinks, broken couches, and freezing cold weather.  I think we need to push it all to the side tomorrow and make a trip to the pool!


  1. If it's any consolation, I visited your blog a few days ago for my "cute fix" and found myself jealous of Kennedy's gross motor progress. It's a mama thing - we want our kids to succeed! Grace is 1 1/2 months younger than Kennedy and can't stand without holding onto anything, doesn't walk yet, we haven't even considered stairs, and she'd be lost on that bouncy thing....all this and she gets excellent early intervention care of 11 therapies each week covered mostly by the state. So it just goes to show you that it happens on each kids' timeline regardless of how much or little you are doing. I've been told by many that the best thing I can do for Grace is give her a sibling close in age to play with, model after and of course have a bond with. So your time may be split but you're providing Kennedy a great role model and trouble partner!! :) Three days after my jealousy moment, Grace took her first steps with a push toy. You just never know! But know this - you're completely normal!!

  2. I know it doesn't help much but I remember feeling this way with Cate. I think you are in a common rut that DS mom's get into - the delay is so much more obvious at this age, add to that our propencity to be guilty and it leads to depressing thoughts. Things will get better - not that you won't think how nice it would be to not have to spend twice as long to do homework frequently - but the doctors appts and therapy will slow down and be less of an impact on your life I promise. Hang in there and know you are not alone! You are a great mom.