Protector

As parents, we always want to do what's best for our children and protect them from whatever we can.  I worry about the fact that I can't protect Kennedy from all the idiots in the world.  The ones who make stupid comments and don't understand how truly amazing she is.  My husband and I had a discussion this weekend, how much it hurts us that we can't protect her from all the pain and suffering of her heart condition, and the upcoming surgery.  We would do anything to take it all away from her.  She's so little and innocent, and she doesn't deserve to have to go through any of this.  And one of the hardest things for us, is that we can't take it away or make it all better.  I know that there's going to come a time in the hospital where she's going to look at me to make it better, and there's not going to be a thing I can do.  I won't even be able to give her "mama snuggles," since she won't be able to curl up on my chest.  I'm going to be completely helpless and that breaks my heart.  

Last night my husband was able to be the protector.  I woke the poor guy up at 1am, to handle a giant spider running through the family room.  I don't like big bugs.  And if I had to, I would have found a way to deal with it.  But instead, my way of dealing with it was to wake him up.  So at 1am, he was chasing the giant spider around the living room, while I was sitting on the arm of the chair holding Kennedy.  Had Kennedy not been sound asleep, I'm sure she would have been thrilled with daddy for protecting her from the giant spider, that was probably the size of her hand.

Today, I also found out that I can't protect Kennedy from her toys either.  She was having a great time.  I pulled out a bunch of new toys.  She was laying on the ottoman (we're avoiding the floor after last night's spider incident) and playing with some rattles.  She picked one up, and after playing with it for about 30 seconds, she bashed herself in the head with it.  Poor baby.  Though, I have to admit, looking back at the video, I had to laugh.  And in the end, no harm done.  She played with the rattle again tonight, and with out injury.